心

For everything that I have done... with no regrets... everytime, I am in believing, but everytime, I was disappointed but after disappointment, still, am believing... why? Worst words approaches... and my heart gone sour. Every second, my heart beats, my heart bleeds... but every once in a while, my heart are sprinkled with salt, and gave it another stabbed. Day by day, weeks and weeks, it doubled and tripled up the pain... the caring, the loving, the believing was every a single while, knocked into unconsciousness. I am afraid, I am stressed, I know my heart is out of space, I do not have any more spaces for others memory, another film to roll. I prays and wishes everyday, hoping things will back to where it belongs, where it use to be, where it suppose to be, everything back to normal, but wishes and prays without knowing the answer, without reply and without any respond... but I still pray, and holds a hope, thinking, things will be alright soon... I could be lying for myself, it could be a law of attraction, or it could even be living in imagination... life do have to go on... but am really tired, why!? I lost my support from my state of mind, I am pushing through limit without any purposes or goals... the willing to success to give "her" the best life... I could? Now I couldn't. Why just "her"? Cause my heart is so true... Why!? Worthy!? or maybe I am so stupid... and the worst is, naturally born to be stupid...